Where Do I Go From Here?

BlRdNote

The above image is Blue Road from Red Barn Artworks

Do you ever feel like you are waiting for that next thing to happen, but you don’t know what that thing is? Are you restless? Bored? Unsure of where to place your energy? Feel like everyone else is moving forward, while you are stuck, frozen in place, not sure of how or when or where to make that first step towards something? Anything? Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions, then…

Welcome to my party!

Now, to be clear, this is not a pity party, nor is it a party where we will have all the answers on how to get unstuck. It is just a simple party. Just a “HOORAY! I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS PHASE OF LIFE!” party. So kick back, grab your favorite party snack and drink, and join the fun!

You see, I believe that I’m not alone in the way I’ve been feeling. I also know there are many reasons why I feel the way I do, most of them valid, just as you have reasons to feel the way you do. We may even share some of the same reasons. In my case, I think I am accustomed to change every few years or so. First, it’s school, then work, then marriage, then career, then moving (which means job change and new friends), then baby, then moving again (job change, new friends), then another baby, then another job and more new friends, then another move, then not working, then starting and maintaining a business. This last endeavor began nine years ago and continues today. Our last move was thirteen years ago, the longest I have ever lived in one place since graduating from high school.

The most recent big change in my life was our son going away to college this past year. All the changes I mentioned prior to this last one required a lot of my time and energy, and in many ways, were exciting, often scary, and sometimes sad. Life was very busy for all of my years leading up to now. This last change actually freed up time for me. My daughter, being a socially active teenager, and my husband, traveling for work, gives me more time to myself as well. Is this a blessing or a curse?

I would like to fill this newly found me-time with meaningful and productive purpose, but I feel a bit paralyzed. It’s the same feeling I have in art class when given a blank acrylic board to add whatever paint colors and textured materials I want. I stand there staring at the palette of colors, half expecting the “good” ones to wave their pigments at me and yell “Pick me! Pick me!” Of course, that’s not going to happen. I just have to dive in and pick colors and create designs that I think will make me happy. If the first design doesn’t make me happy, I have to try new colors and textures until I feel satisfied with my creation (which I still don’t after several weeks of the class).

I guess filling my life with satisfaction is similar to producing a work of art that might create joy. I will have to try a number of different things to find what works for me. It’s not just lack of change or having a little extra time that creates this restlessness. Now that our kids are older and less dependent on us, many of my friends have found new interests, new careers, or they’ve moved away. As happy as I am for them, I feel somewhat left behind, through no fault of theirs, of course. The timing just doesn’t coincide for all of us.

So, here’s a toast…

To each one of us who feels stuck, or restless, or bored… you’re not alone! These feelings must be trying to tell us something… Perhaps we are on the cusp of change, transitioning toward something that is just out of reach. Maybe it’s time to keep our eyes and ears open for new opportunities… to experiment and try new things… to go beyond our comfort zones. However, as I am learning, we must be patient. It may take some time. But I believe that we will each find our own way to create our own joy.

So, c’mon…

Let’s get this party started!

Thank you for joining me!

Until next time,

Red Barn Artworks... A small company with a big passion to create meaningful art from everyday photos.

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13 Responses to “Where Do I Go From Here?

  1. Caro Ness says:

    I have filled my idle moments with voluntary work – super rewarding

  2. Muriel says:

    I think that what you are describing is pretty much part of a woman’s life. We have to adapt to different phases. And it is easier said than done. As for me, I find writing therapeutic. I volunteer for charities, and I do a lot of yoga too. I don’t know what’s in store for me, and I just take it one day at a time. Good luck!
    Muriel recently posted..International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital MutilationMy Profile

    • suerae says:

      Muriel, you have a great head on your shoulders. It is great advice to take things one day at a time. I often get too far ahead of myself. Thank you for the guidance!

  3. Ann Mullen says:

    I think you need to reassess who you are. I know a friend who told me about a new battery of tests that could help you figure out a direction. I know him fairly well and what I know was what the test said. The battery of tests is over $100, but it might just get you out of your rut. I would take it if I had time. This is the email I sent to my daughter:

    Here is a constructive way to distract yourself. First read what this thing said about Ori and try to understand what makes these test results different than anything I have ever seen. Then think about taking it for yourself. Let me know what you decide:

    And my current favoriteis the Kolbe Index – I like this one, ‘cause it helps predict where you’ll have difficulties
    with others… and gives advice unlike what I’ve seen anywhere else. Pretty accurate, and unlike the other
    profiles, this one never changes in results… This one costs money.. and I think it’s worth it.

    ORI–

    Here’s my results for the Kolbe Index:

    http://secure.kolbe.com/resultsview/krfv08/index_kcom.cfm?actualVersion=11&flashVersion=Flash+11+detected&testingVersion=11&acrobatVersion=10&REPORTSECURITYTOKEN=CEE90DD6-B235-4AAB-BA78CB995B64CB19&PRINTSECURITYTOKEN=9851CA93-D04C-49BC-BFF91AE0105D79B4&LANGUAGEID=1

    You can take the Kolbe index here:

    https://secure.kolbe.com/index.cfm?circuit=QPDGateway&routeId=39&languageID=1
    Ann Mullen recently posted..Are You a Senior Wanting Independent Living?My Profile

    • suerae says:

      Ann, I am very intrigued by this Kolbe index. It sounds pretty fascinating. Thank you for passing it along, as well as the results from your friend. I will definitely look into it! :)

  4. The good news, Suerae, is that you are not alone in this. The bad news is that many don’t find a solution.
    I have had that feeling many times in my life- the first time (way back in my late 20′s) is when I managed to achieve what I thought was my life’s purpose. And, like the dog who catches the car- what’s next? That took two years of fumbling around. It happened again when we sold one of our businesses in my early 40′s. And, again in my late 40′s when I separated. And, again in my mid 50′s. And, again at age 60, when my two largest clients died. The good thing of this (frequent) recurrence) is that I’ve learned to make a list of choices, critically evaluate them, and make a plan to change NOW.
    But, that’s just my way. I look forward to hearing about your process as it progresses.
    Roy A. Ackerman, PhD, EA @ Cerebrations.biz recently posted..Safe and Effective?My Profile

    • suerae says:

      Roy, I like your analogy of the dog who catches the car. I guess it is fairly common to go through these phases of change whether we like it or not. I’m glad you’ve been able to learn from your frequent recurrences as I am sure I will learn from these transitional times. Thank you for sharing your side of things. :)

  5. Perhaps think of this time as a bridge. So glad you are not a person content to stick around being stuck :) Party on girl….
    Carolina HeartStrings recently posted..MEXI CROCK POT CORN PUDDINGMy Profile

  6. Carol says:

    When I start cleaning, I know that I’m in for a change!! Great post!
    Carol recently posted..Snow Wonder….My Profile

  7. I think you will find your time is filled pretty quickly, I am impressed you are trying out new things and love the printmaking/encaustic work you are doing! Although I felt a heavy loss when my daughter left for school, after a bit I embraced the time to look at things I had always wanted to try. Before you know it, Green With Renvy was born and I haven’t looked back since. I have so many ideas running in my head, its hard to keep up, I think your creativity runs the same way. It’s all about looking at our purpose in life, and even though I didn’t define myself exclusively through my kids, it was a big piece of my identity. Never easy to change, but I have no doubts you will power on!
    alison abbott recently posted..Mohingha on Meatless MondayMy Profile

    • suerae says:

      Hello Alison! It’s so nice to hear from you. Your words are full of wisdom, and I do believe that there is more waiting for me out there, it’s just a matter of my ability to explore the possibilities. I’ve decided to work with a life coach to help jump start me towards my future. I’m so glad that Green With Renvy was born… certainly for what it has brought to you and your readers (myself included), but also how it has connected us! Your support means a great deal to me, so thank you for being here! :)

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